Do not remain stuck in your ways; this does not help in forgiving. Instead ask: Why did they do this? What was the motive? Then you can perhaps say: They didn’t know what they were doing. Perhaps it was unintentional. Perhaps they were driven by their own interests.

When you finally realize this, you can begin to understand. You will be ready to forgive and reconcile.

Do I try to understand their motives when people anger me?
Can I study Jesus’ example, and start thinking about being generous to those who have hurt me?